


Incapable

by INMH



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2016) [20]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Inability to Masturbate, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Other, Sexual Content, Sexual Frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 17:56:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6917380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One would think he’d have this down to a science. One would be wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incapable

_God damn it._  
  
He didn’t even know why he was bothering. It never worked.  
  
James prided himself on having an active sex-life. Said sex-life was a popular yet whispered topic of conversation at the MI6 water-cooler, because 007’s prowess at seduction was not always strictly limited to his field-work.  
  
So one would _think_ he would have something like jerking off down to a science.  
  
One would be wrong.  
  
He had tried all number of different methods. Neither hand worked. Vibrators were insufficient. Sticking his dick into anything but an actual person was ineffectual at best. Didn’t matter how much porn he watched, or looked at, or read- didn’t matter if he was watching real people having real sex in front of him.  
  
He couldn’t get off.  
  
And it was _infuriating_.  
  
People wondered why he was such a dog, why he constantly sought out sexual partners- well, wouldn’t you be too, if that was the only way you could ever get off? If it were the only way you could get any sexual release, because unlike most people you just can’t bloody _masturbate?_  
  
The front door opened and shut.  
  
“James? I'm back.”  
  
“In here,” He had to shout, voice somewhat muffled from where he’d shoved it into the mattress.  
  
Madeleine came into the bedroom, observed the scene before her- James half naked, but with no evidence of any actual sexual activity and definitely not looking like he was having a good time- and said, “Would you like some help?”  
  
“Yes, please,” he groaned, shoving his face deeper into the comforter.  
  
Madeleine smiled sympathetically.  
  
“Well, since you asked nicely.”  
  
-End


End file.
